With heavy hearts they planned their good bye meeting.
He was very withdrawn and didn’t even want to talk about it. He wanted to push those thoughts as far away from his mind as he could.
She on the other hand planned with tears and a heartache. Her heart ached from the memories of the short and wonderful moments they had shared and for the beautiful future she envisioned with both of them in it but they couldn’t and were sadly not going to have it.
Since it was their last time together, she wanted it to be good and something to remember…
As she packed her bags, she was thoughtful and selected all she was taking with her for the good bye trip carefully. She kept in mind she didn’t want their last moments to be only made of tears but a celebration of love that was special and unique.
She choose different black dresses for the strong black love they shared and had the opportunity to get to know and to enjoy. Black for the sadness of saying goodbye to love. Black because what they had will or is to be categoried as wrong yet it felt right and so good.
Black for the dark winter cold days that her heart and body will go through because of the good bye
Then a black and white short blazer…for the pureness of truely loving each other. The colours standing for the mixture of emotions between what is right and what is wrong, celebrating love or mourning it’s death. The shortness of the blazer for the short and intense experiences they had.
Grey pullover, jumpsuit, lingerie, massage gel, sex toys, fitness gear, dancing shoes, high heels, candels,….
She couldn’t wait for him to get to their good bye haven so she decided to leave and meet him half way.
They embraced, kissed and held to each other tightly. Then they looked into each others eyes. The eyes that said more than what the mouth could utter. It was more and way beyond than love… He then smiled… yes that smile that got the best of her… She called him her eye candy… this smile always sparked something in her.. she couldn’t really put a finger on it, she didn’t know exactly what it was about the smile… but the smile calmed her, it made her happy and when she was happy so was he. Hand in hand they walked in silence allowing their hearts to make the sad and happy conversations.
She turned the music on and put the speaker on. Their love was celebrated in many things that they shared but more in their love for music and dance…They danced, sang along before they knew it they were dancing and singing to their own tune, beat, rhythm and sound of love making…They lay quietly listening to the music from the speaker. A tune got them back to their feet. He led her through a schuffle step dance routine and they shuffled to the song catching the beautiful images of their naked bodies in the mirror they smiled at each other…He sat down and watched her dance. His imagination took the wheel…He at times wondered how explosive this love would be…explosive and expressive in all sorts of positive manner of emotions, feelings, ideas…He had never felt with any woman he was with what he felt for her…He was sure from the first time he saw her and heard her speak, she was special in a way… and they had a special bond. He at times felt she was the female version of him. Does she even understand how much he loves her? Love was even an under statement for the statisfaction he felt when he was with her. Did she even know how much he desired her, how much he cares for her?!! He had cracked his head several times of how he could make this work. He wanted her to be his and yet he knew it was not fare to tag her along, he had to let her go. He wanted her to be happy, she deserved it, even if it meant he couldn’t have her. He was so jealous of the man who would be hers. The man would be more than lucky to get brains, character and beauty…she was the whole package, finished and ready. He sometimes wished he knew they would meet, he would have waited, love like this was worth waiting for!! And this was their good bye…she wanted them to cut off contact completely, he on the other hand made it clear, it would bother him actual the thought of just cutting everything off hurt him. He wished to know how she was doing. In the past he thought of her when he was idle and relaxed but since that first touch and kiss, it just took a song, or some certain things that triggered his thoughts to think, remember and yarn to be with her. He knew they had to cut down on so much so that she could have space to get to know another…..
She danced and caught him in mid thought, pulled him up and standing on her toes kissed him on the lips and led him to the bathroom with her.
As it was their tradition when they meet for a rend vous they took a shower together. Holding tightly to each other as water flowed, a spark of desire and want was ignited in them. Each giving and not holding back. Water pouring from above, tears flowing, rivers of arousal, their spark turned into a flame that not even the water could put out. They burned in emotions of love held back and love that was about to be put to an end but fought back. A flame of love that didn’t deserve to die.
As he rocked her, he felt her become calm, looking into her eyes he saw something he had never seen… A mixture of emotions that broke his heart…she wanted him to be part of her life forever, she was broken, her body wanted him to leave his seed in her…A seal, maybe a proof for their love. He fought the urge to do so. He just didn’t want her to be alone, when they came. He would have gladly raised them with her but it wasn’t possible. They had talked about it before and he had said he would gladly give her his seed. Now he felt it wasn’t right to miss out in bringing up the witnesses of their love. Flesh and bones of their own. Not that he doubted she couldn’t do it well alone on the contrary he knew she would do a perfect job. .. it was he just didn’t want to miss out. They spoke with their eyes, he tried explaining without words looking deeply into her eyes as he rocked her gently and kissed her… His no broke her and he felt her sadness. That was the hardest thing for him to do say no to her and causing her pain was like stabbing himself. He covered her and kissed her the kiss that was to send her to sleep.
He put some music on and worked. She listened and sobbed under the sheets, sad but aroused, she shook and fell asleep to the music.
She woke up to his singing…Such a lovely voice he had. She watched him from the bed…her eye candy..some few minutes ago she had just orgasimed in waves with tears before falling asleep. He felt her eyes on his back and turned and smiled at her. “You have a lovely voice” she told him and he blushed. Everytime spent together, she learnt something new about him and got more deep in love with him.
She quickly pulled over her head to cover her nakedness the oversized T-SHIRT bodly written -NOT FOR SALE. Yes not for sale, if love could be sold or bought theirs wouldn’t have a price. No price high or low would equate the value of what they risked to allow what they feel for each other blossom. This love could neither be sold nor be bought. The price they now have to pay to give up what they proved did exist to save all those around them pain. The sacrifice and price of self denial for the price of being responsible. No currency had the value or could buy the pain of loving another and not being able to have them. Nothing of value could be traded to ease the pain of their love that was their only regret.
She packed him some sandwich, juice and water and carried his briefcase to the door. He paced up and down at the other end knowing once he left, he was never going to see her again.
As he approached the door she placed the things down and held him tight. Their hearts beat a sad beat. They kissed and as he hugged her. She said a silent prayer for him before he let go and walked out of the door…Her heart ripped from her chest went with him.
She closed the door and cried till no tears could flow. A loss like this she had never known before…she said good bye to true love.